August 25, 2025

How Do We Support Children in Their Return to School?

Article by the scientific team of Together for Children

September is the month when our children return to school. They may experience mixed feelings about going back to their desks—on one hand, curiosity and excitement, on the other, uncertainty, fear, and sometimes anxiety. These feelings are completely normal and, for most children, improve almost immediately. Some, however, may need a little extra help. As parents, it is important to prepare ourselves properly to handle this challenge.

(The scientific team of Together for Children has put together the following guide to help parents and caregivers support children as they transition into a new school grade or educational level.)

Research shows that children often express worries about making new friends and keeping old ones, adapting to new teachers and lessons, as well as facing more homework (Chedzoy & Burden, 2005; Tobbell, 2003). Anxiety at this time can often appear as physical symptoms without a medical cause, such as headaches, shortness of breath, or trembling (Szuhany & Simon, 2022). Behaviorally, we may notice they talk less, isolate themselves, or ask more often to skip school.

Ideas for Supporting Your Child

General tips

  • Preparation is key. Familiarizing your child with what the first days will be like helps them feel more secure and allows them to build a routine in the new environment.
  • Find calm moments in the day to ask your child how they feel about returning to school. Use open-ended questions (“How are you feeling?” “What worries you?”) rather than yes/no ones (“Are you okay?”). Open questions help children express their thoughts and emotions (Wasik & Hindman, 2013).
  • Listen carefully to their feelings, whatever they may be, with phrases like: “I understand you’re sad summer is over” or “I understand you’re scared because you don’t know how this year will be.”
  • Address common worries. For example, to ease concerns about keeping friends, encourage your child to call or meet up with classmates during the holidays. Maintaining friendships helps make the return smoother.
  • Normalize their fears. Explain that it’s natural to worry about change, and share your own experiences (“I remember how nervous I was on the first day, too”). Remind them of past changes they successfully managed to boost confidence.
  • Reflect on your own anxiety and expectations. It’s natural for parents to worry about their child’s adjustment, but unrealistic expectations can make this worse. Don’t expect too much from the first weeks—encouragement, patience, trust in their resilience, and recognition of effort go a long way.
  • Highlight the positives of school, like friends, field trips, school parties, music, and sports.
  • Avoid endless reassurance. Too many repeated conversations about anxiety may increase it. Instead, choose a calm time for such discussions and encourage your child to switch to enjoyable activities afterward.

The week before school starts

  • Explain simply what the first days will look like. Create a basic daily schedule together showing the flow of activities.
  • If your child is already anxious, walk to and from school with them once or twice to familiarize them with the route.
  • Gradually move bedtime and wake-up times earlier to align with the school routine.
  • Choose and prepare the school bag and supplies together. This acts as a ritual symbolizing a fresh start. Encourage your child to mark the transition in their own way (e.g., collage, journal, family activity).
  • Encourage playdates or conversations with friends to strengthen peer bonds. Positive interactions enhance mood and belonging (Maunder & Monks, 2019).

The night before the first day

  • Set alarms 15–20 minutes earlier than necessary to avoid rushing, which adds stress.
  • Limit phone/computer use at least two hours before bedtime.
  • If your child shares specific worries (e.g., being late, not finding their class), work together to create a simple plan. Write down concerns, brainstorm possible solutions, and let your child choose what feels best.
  • Let them pick their clothes the night before to reduce morning stress.

The first day of school

  • After school, give your child space and time to share their experiences using open-ended questions (“How was your first day?” “What did you like most today?”).
  • If they seem upset, stay calm. Don’t bombard them with questions. Respect if they don’t want to talk immediately—let them know you’re available when they’re ready.
  • Step in only if sadness continues for several days.

The first days back

  • Stick to clear limits on screen time.
  • Ensure they get enough sleep and rest.
  • Encourage finishing homework by late afternoon, as concentration declines in the evening.
  • Enroll them in group sports or dance classes to support socialization.

Common Questions

What if my child doesn’t want to return to school?
Don’t give in to school refusal—it makes it more likely to happen again. Don’t use threats or punishments. Instead, validate their feelings, explain the importance of responsibilities, and ask how you can help them feel better. Remember: the longer they avoid school, the harder returning becomes, with negative effects on mental health and learning.

How do we prepare for the new school year’s lessons?
Use holiday workbooks with fun, educational content. Focus especially on areas that were difficult last year. Review helps cover gaps and makes children feel more confident starting new material.

What’s the ideal sleep schedule for my child?
A regular sleep routine is vital for wellbeing, just like healthy eating and exercise. Elementary school children usually need 9–11 hours of sleep per day; teenagers, 8–10 hours (Chaput et al., 2018). Keep the schedule even on weekends to establish stability.

How do I protect my child from bullying?
While at school, your child’s safety is the school’s responsibility. Build a good relationship with teachers and the school counselor. If you notice unusual or troubling behavior, contact the school psychologist or social worker. Staying in touch with other parents is also helpful.

How do I monitor progress without pressuring?
Keep good communication with teachers to stay informed. Show interest in your child’s school life without overwhelming them with questions. Excessive control can cause stress and negativity about school. Encourage independence in homework, offering help only when asked.

How can I support my child’s socialization?
Beyond sports or extracurricular activities, allow your child to invite friends over or visit theirs. Organize group outings (e.g., park, cinema) to strengthen friendships.

With the right support, all children can manage the return to school successfully. If, however, parents and caregivers notice persistent changes—like stomach pain, sleep problems, loss of appetite, or social withdrawal—it’s important to consult a mental health professional, as these may be early signs of severe anxiety.

If anxiety problems continue beyond the first days, or become very intense, especially if they lead to school avoidance, seek professional help.

Don’t hesitate to call the Together for Children Helpline 11525, which offers free counseling Monday to Friday, 09:00–19:00, or contact a specialist you trust.