Why do we reach the point to punish our children? Many times it is the fear not to let them derogate, others because we do not know what else to do, others because we think that in this way our child will not do it again because we think we are the only ones who understand or because we think that punishment keep him/her under control and we keep our strength.
But have we ever wondered what our children feel when we punish them?
It would be very helpful to go back in time and remember our own feelings when we were punished by our parents. Some of us got so angry that we felt that we hated our parents. Others felt guilt for their actions. Others wanted to get back to our parents reaching self-destruction. Others thought unconventional ways to achieve our goal without getting us noticed.
Punishment can create feelings of hostility, revenge, disobedience, guilt, self-pity, etc. In essence, punishment is a form of revenge of the parent to the child. It's an easy way to deny what it pleases our child and to hurt it where it hurts.